MasterBond

"It's finished!" That was the cry I heard from my wife one Sunday morning. Mmmm, I murmured lifting my head slowly from the Sunday papers. "I said - it's finished , and about time too!" "What's finished my dear?" I asked, suddenly feeling rising excitement.

Could it be that our relationship of 27 years was finally over? Could I now buy that old Land Rover that I have always wanted but never managed to get permission for? “This jigsaw that I’ve been struggling with.” she said. “I’ve just finished it!” “Oh” I replied. “Lovely.” The excitement quickly subsided and I went back to reading my Land Rover International magazine, which I had slipped inside the ‘Times’ newspaper to maintain the illusion of interest in everyday news.

My wife was genuinely pleased that she had accomplished something worthwhile, and I suppose that feeling reaches us all when we have done a job worth doing. I see it occasionally during the course of my day job when I sign off a development and the homeowners seem pleased and relieved to close a chapter in their lives which, very often, has turned into a nightmare for them. This is the most pleasing aspect of being a claims investigator.

Working with the rectifying builders and turning a potential disaster into a pleasant experience for all involved, and carrying out building work should be a pleasurable experience for all concerned, not the drama which programmes such as the BBC’s Watchdog likes to highlight. The truth is I suppose that good news rarely makes good telly. For my part I like to concentrate on the ambassadors of the FMB and weed out those who are set to damage our organisation.

I did a presentation recently where I discussed zero defects. Difficult to achieve but as always zero defects should be the aim of all FMB members.

I don’t think that zero defects was in the mind of a builder who carried out some grant work in South Wales recently as this month’s pictures show. According to the builder the extension was finished and he had left site. Finished?? I ask you!

Taking the extension apart the photos illustrate that the render to the window reveals is unfinished. The corner beads are instantly visible. How about the render to the back door? The beads are not only visible but the render bridges the damp proof course. Could this, I wonder, be the cause of the damp penetrating the plasterwork on the inside? I might be a little rusty when it comes to the building regulations, but didn’t I read somewhere that when the waste pipes reach ground level they had to revert to 100mm pipe of a suitable underground quality? Not so it appears in South Wales where wastes can simply be concreted over and taken to the nearest convenient gully.

I have to ask myself questions in these circumstances. According to the builder both the building control authority (who shall remain nameless but who resides in the Town Hall!) and the Grant Inspector had ‘passed’ the works. Why? and How? are on the top of my list. What on earth are these agencies thinking? We mustn’t forget the homeowner either who now has an unsatisfactory building with an FMB flag flying.

The above job is still current and subject of further investigation by yours truly. Some serious questions have to be answered and the faults made good so that that FMB flag can fly proud and the organisation can dissuade these unruly elements from renewing their membership.

I’ll keep you posted.

Well, while I’ve been putting pen to paper this month I noticed an advert in the local free paper:

For Sale. Project. Series 11a Land Rover. Tax exempt. Price negotiable.

I wonder if it’s worth mentioning it over dinner? You know the sort of thing. Romantic lighting, soft music, good food and an expensive bottle of wine. Starters and well into the main course, my wife relaxed and enjoying the evening. I could start by saying “Darling, have you ever considered............?”

See you next time if I survive. Cheers.

You can contact David in the office on 01827 715282, by mobile on 07769687236 or email by davidhill@fmb.org.uk